What it means to trust...

How does one trust God?

How does one have faith in God?

In truth I tell you, if anyone says to this mountain, "Be pulled up and thrown into the sea," with no doubt in his heart, but believing that what he says will happen, it will be done for him.

(Mark 11:23)

And if you have faith, everything you ask for in prayer, you will receive.'

(Matt 21:22)

I don't know about you, but I don't think I can ever tell a mountain to move without having the slightest bit of doubt in my heart. In fact, I'd be full of it. Trust in God is something I constantly struggle with. Whenever I pray for something, there is always a part of me that wonders if my prayer will be answered. Sometimes, this is because I am not entirely sure if what I'm asking for is in accordance with God's will. 

Recently I got terribly upset because I had being praying very hard for something but still the prayer has not been answered. I began to question God - asking if He truly cares for me. I was really angry with God. 

After a lot of thought.... I realized that I was going about the whole issue the wrong way. 

This life is not my own. I had given it to God - or so I said. If that being the case, then, it follows that it is God's will that must be done and not my own. So just because I ask, search and knock, for something, that doesn't mean it will be given to me. While no father will hand his children stones when they ask for bread, no father will allow their five-year olds to drive if they ask - no matter how much 'faith' they have. 

As I thought about it, I began to see that what I can truly trust God in, is that He will always grant me things that are good for me. He will always look after the salvation of my soul. In these, I can truly say I trust God. God will not always grant me what I ask for... if it is bad for me, I can count on God not to give it to me no matter how badly I want it. He knows better. 

And so, I should not be angry with God if he does not answer my prayer. After all, there is no telling if it is a delay or a denial. A father may not allow his five-year old to drive, but he will allow his 18-year old to do so. And again, if he has a child who is blind, he will not allow him or her to drive no matter how old he or she is! The Father will always do what is good for His children. 

So I must let go and let God, no matter how painful it is. I must trust in His Goodness.